Last night I was all Monday is going to rock and I"m going to get my ass to the gym at 5 (I did) to start my half marathon training and then at night I won't have to work out and I can relax and blog. After my workout I was feeling pretty good, got ready for the day and headed to work. Somewhere on that drive everything went to shit. I don't know what my deal is today but I haven't been able to shake this sense of impending doom. It's crushing me like a ton of bricks and for the life of me I can't quite figure out why. I am so rigoddamndiculously happy right now and Des Moines is not filled with raging flood waters, and I'm not going weeks without food like the children in Somalia, and I'm most certainly not getting blown up by suicide bombers so WHAT in the world do I have to be all anxious about?
Okay so I mayyyy have a slight clue. I may be soooo happy that it is causing this anxiety. I know first world white girl problems. I hate myself for even saying it because really you're so happy that it gives you anxiety? I would probably tell myself to piss off if I ran into me right now. However I feel like Charlotte in the good SATC movie, where she has everything she's ever wanted and is afraid something bad is going to happen to her. That's how I feel. Unfortunately for me I didn't shit my pants this year, so I guess I'm not done.
Perhaps it's because things are starting to feel real. Like it's official, people know. Hey everyone I have an amazing boyfriend who is the bomb and gives up his 2012 Ikea catalog for me. So perhaps now that everyone knows, now that I can say "this is my boyfriend...." I'm so afraid of losing it. Does that make sense? Or am I being a ridiculous whiny little bitch who needs to man up?
I'm sure it will pass but until it does, lets just blame it on the camping shall we?