Wednesday, February 8, 2012

5 Years Ago Today

Normally every February 8th I write a letter to my dad. In my letter I tell him about whats going on in my life, how everyone is doing and most importantly how much I miss him. However this week has been so much tougher than I thought it would be. Not only because of today, but I am up for a job and it's between myself and one other person. Please spare me the whole, "you'll of course get the job" because no matter how much I tell myself that, I know there is a real possibility that I won't get it. And the thought of being such a huge disappointment on this week of all weeks is really more than I can bear right now. 

I don't know if my dad would agree with the decisions I've made, but I know he'd be supportive. I miss that. I miss that the most. Unconditional support. Not that Drew is not supportive but despite my apparent flippant attitude towards family, I wish that I had the kind of family that I could always count on. That I know I could call and they would be there for me no matter what. I suppose I do have that, just not in biological family. I had that with my dad. And I suppose right now more than ever I miss it. 

Whatever the outcome of this job, I'm going to try to stay positive. Runner's up generally go on to win a crown, I should know I've been there before. I'm going to try not to let it ruin my weekend, or let it be a nasty blow to my self esteem. I suppose that's the best any of us can do, and I think my dad would be proud of that attitude. 




  1. Sending you tons of love today and always, Marisa! The anniversary week of losing a parent is always so hard; some years are better than others. I think your Dad would be SO proud of you, especially for being such an open and honest person and sharing your story with others :) xo

  2. Lovely thoughts your way!! Love the new layout!

  3. :( Big hugs.

    With the job, don't take it personally if you don't get it. If it's just down between you and someone else, then chances are you're probably pretty evenly matched and it will be the smallest, most random thing that makes up their minds. Having said that though, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that they choose you! Good luck!

  4. Sending love and good thoughts your way! xo

  5. good for you for taking control of your attitude and making the choice to remain positive.

  6. keep hope alive, girlie! i hope you land the job. and if you don't, i hope there is an even better one around the corner that you will land.

    hugs to you as you think of your dad. i know he would be proud and supportive of you. that is the best kind of dad possible.

  7. I'm so sorry this happening now of all weeks. I think that the hardest part about the job search and about job applications is the difference between the highs (I'm so qualified for this job! It would be perfect! I can see myself working there!) and the lows (rejection, need I say more).

    Good luck on the job front !!!

  8. Sending hugs to you... the anniversary of your dad's death is a tough time, but probably especially so when you have things up in the air, like your job status. I really really really hope you get it!! If not, let me know and I can check our job site and let you know if there is anything I see that would be a good position for you!

  9. Hugs honey.. and for sure you will get it! IM SURE.


  10. Sending much love, hugs, and sunshine and rainbows, he he! If I have learned anything about you through Blogworld it's you kick ass! Your obviously SMART, Damn Funny, Dilegent....etc. Look, if you don't get that job.... they crazy!
    I hope you are having a wonderful weekend with your bbe despite the anxious feelings!
    gi gi

  11. i am sure your dad would be proud of that attitude too! i wish you all the best! <3

    <3, Mimi

  12. aw good luck, i hope and hope that you get it...but you wouldn't be a disappointment if you didn't i'm sure!!


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