Monday, June 21, 2010

A Look Back

"D and I weren't right for each other simple as that. There is nothing wrong with me and nothing wrong with him. I know that I'm right for someone and I can't go through life constantly wondering what I'm doing wrong or what I could've done different. When I meet that someone there won't be any doing something wrong because everything we do will be right because we'll be right for each other, and I can't wait for that day.

Until then I'm just going to keep being myself and doing whats right for me."

Almost 2 months ago I wrote those words. Where the hell did that girl go? I have sunk into such a self loathing, insecure pit of despair that I couldn't even imagine writing that paragraph just 4 days ago. Honestly I don't even remember writing them, thats how far into the black hole I am, or should say was. Slowly making my way out. I like to think of that post as the light at the end of the tunnel; The girl I'm going to be in the end and the girl I always will be. It has always been my poor habit of focusing so intently on my flaws and short comings that sometimes I forget what I've accomplished. It's a funny thing, there are over 6 billion people in the world but just 1 single person's rejection is enough to destroy you. What a cruel joke.

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