By now you've guessed that I love the holidays and my birthday, but there are always a few times when my Christmas spirit completely tanks and I find myself in tears listening to The Christmas Shoes driving home from work. It's at these times when I'm listening to these sad sappy songs that I start thinking about Christmas 2006, and how it was the last Christmas I would have with my Dad.
My parents tried to tell me I didn't need to come home since weather was always iffy and they didn't want me getting stuck and not able to get back to school. But my Dad was finally out of the hospital and I was determined to go home. I can't even tell you what I got that year, I didn't care. All that I cared about was that my Dad was home, and that meant things were on the up and up. I slept with one eye open the entire time I was home waiting for something bad to happen but it never did. Feeling hopeful and confident that all would be well, I headed back to school to start my very last semester of college and begin preparing for Miss Johnson and Jackson County.
Unfortunately I never got to compete in Miss Jackson County. February 8th my Mom called early in the morning to tell me that Daddy had passed away. I remember the shock, but I didn't cry. At first I was angry that I wasn't there. I should have taken a leave of absence from school for a while to be back home. I knew though that Dad would have been angry at me for neglecting school and making a fuss over him. I was then so happy that I had gone home for Christmas and got to spend one more Birthday with my Dad. He made sure that I had everything I could ever need growing up and always supported me no matter how ridiculous my plans.
So while sometimes the holidays can get me down with a sad song or two, I just remember all the happy holidays we had together and how he didn't judge me and just laughed when came stumbling home after Christmas at the bars on my 21st Birthday :)