I'm a lucid dreamer. Are you? It's kind of an awesome thing really, it prevents nightmares from scaring the bejeezus out of me and also allows me to dictate my dreams ending. Which usually involves me being a bad ass and going all John McClane on someone. Anyways, while I allow myself to indulge my inner Die Hard fantasies, I always try to focus on what happened before I realized I was dreaming. I'm a firm believer that dreams are a manifestation of certain things going on in our lives that may be be bothering us that we aren't aware of or don't realize how much they are bothering us. Take Sunday night for an example:
So in my dream, I'm in some college town that I assume is supposed to be Ames, but it doesn't look a thing like Ames. Besides the point. I'm going to some house party to meet Drew and when I get there these two girls start talking to me and I have no idea who they are but they tell me I should ask Drew how his weekend was and I'm like alright you dumb whores I will. So I find him, and am all sooooo how was your weekend? (pretty sure it was the weekend in my dream...whatever I'm not a genius) and he's all oh it was fine. And the dumb whores behind me chime in something to the fact that he had hooked up with someone else. So dream self is all wtf is that true? To which he replies, well yeah, you live in Des Moines. It's at this point that I realize that I'm dreaming because dream self gets upset and storms outside and is making sobbing sounds but I. Can't. Cry. And in my dream I am all WHY AREN"T YOU CRYING? THIS IS THE SADDEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU!!!!!!!!!! Thats when I knew that I couldn't cry, because this isn't real because this would never happen. The boy who sends me good morning texts from his hunting tree perch to wish me a wonderful day and sends me emails that have strategically placed thought out emoticons wouldn't do that. So instead of going all John McClane in college dream land, I just woke up.
I made myself wake up because I knew exactly why this dream happened. I've been stressing out about relocating to Minneapolis lately. I'm terrified that it could take me forever to find a job. And while I know I'm not technically from Iowa (and by technically I mean I'm not at all) this is still my home. And this is where my family is at. Okay not my biological family but the family I'm closest to. I truly do want, more than anything, to move and finally live in the same city, but my anxiety/ocd does not allow me to just skedaddle on out of Des Moines. There are so many things I want to make sure are thought out first, but sometimes it's just too overwhelming.
Anyone ever had to relocate? Any advice? Suggestions? Good therapists in Des Moines/Minneapolis...???