Sunday, February 14, 2010

Every New Beginning...

Comes from some other beginnings end. I'm not normally one to be like "this song is soooo about my life" but Semisonic's line from "Closing Time" has always held a spot in my heart, mainly because of the truthfulness of it. When a chapter of your life comes to a end, it's just the beginning of a new one. And with that in mind here's where this is all leading: D and I broke up. Yes over Valentine's weekend. We were never fans of St. Valentine anyways so it really was just like any other weekend, but to outsiders it probably sounds like the biggest tragedy EVER. This probably seems like it came out of the blue and OMG HOW AM I DEALING? Truth be told, I'm totally fine. We both are. In fact we're happier. Yes indeed I did cry because D has been a big, if not the biggest, part of my life for about 5 years. My best friend, father to my pets, and my all around everything. However the last couple of months have been lacking. Not hate or fighting filled but just kind of empty feeling. We still enjoyed being with each other but not like we used to. More as just friends and good roommates who have a good thing worked out. We functioned like a well oiled machine. But I'm pretty sure thats not a good way to describe a relationship. So after tearful discussions we decided that breaking up is whats best for both of us. Now here's where things are going to take an interesting turn for most of you:

We're still living together.

No not sharing a bedroom or anything. But I'm still residing in our house. In what was once the office and is now my bedroom. I know I just blew some of your minds and some people may be throwing full wine bottles at their comps screaming WHAT THE F*&% IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?!?!!?! Truth is, we like living together. Just not in the dating way, but in the roommate way. The only difference is we're not pretending we've got it all figured out anymore. And it's quite the relief for us. Because we def don't have it all figured out. I'm okay with that.

At first I thought, OMG I'm 25 who's going to want me now? I'M TWENTY FIVE! AN OLD MAID! A SPINSTER! BRING OUT THE ROCKING CHAIR AND 50 CATS! Then the ridiculousness of that thought had sunk in. I have no ticking biological clock ( or if I do it's on silent like my cell phone always is) and no desire to get married. I have my whole life ahead of me with no predetermined plan that I feel I need to abide by from society. Graduate college, get married, have babies, die. Nahsomuchforme. I'm going to do whatever I damn well please whenever I want. So suck it society! We're doing things our own way so you best watch yo back.

Sorry for the long post, but it had to come out. But don't worry about us because

(Truth and tears clear the way to a deep and lasting friendship)

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