My Worst Fear

I had a dream last night that prompted me to realize what my worst fear is. My worst fear is everyone settling down and me being left behind. At this point in my life I cannot fathom myself settling down (again). Where weekends are spent doing home improvement things and there is painting involved. Not that I'm looking down on that sort of life at all. I'm just saying it's not for me. I've tried it and well, it did not make me happy like I thought it would. (Disclaimer: my unhappiness has was not in anyway due to the person I was with. He was a wonderful boyfriend.) I just felt like that was the direction I was supposed to take with my life. Graduate, house, be a grown up, do grown up things. I loved D more than anything and I tried, we tried really, but in the end we wanted different things. Obviously considering the direction our lives have taken since breaking up; There are wedding bells in his future and mine includes any plane, train or automobile that goes any and everywhere taking me on my next adventure. However, that does not mean I don't want to find "the one". I do, but my one will be on the same path as me. Wanting the same adventures as me. Honestly I can't wait to find him, but I'm not going to sit around waiting for that day to come obviously. Too much to do and see, too much life to live. I'll run into him eventually. Maybe tomorrow, maybe not till my 30's. Maybe it'll be in Des Moines or at base camp when I'm on my first Everest Expedition. I'm in no rush, I still thoroughly enjoy my own company. After all, I am the coolest person I know :)

Please don't think I'm a weirdo palm reader, psychic, crystal therapy person. I don't really get into dream interpretation. But this one was well, weird enough for me to do a recap when I woke up and it was obvious the theme was unhappiness and  abandonment. It also had some comical moments so I'll share.

I can't remember how it started but the first thing I remember is driving to a mountain in Colorado that we were going to climb. Oddly enough the drive looked exactly like the drive from Des Moines to Ames. Whatever. On the way there we got hit with a massive blizzard and had to turn around. I was completely devastated since I've been working soooo hard for it. So we turn around and head back to....some town I guess where I run into D and apparently we're back together. Which did NOT make me happy in fact quite the opposite. Trapped, defeated, unhappy. (Again NOT because of him by any means. He's just the symbol for my prior unhappiness with the direction my life was going) Then we went into like a German beer hall where I see my Colorado friend with some girl who is apparently his new girlfriend and now I couldn't go stay with him. (I know makes no sense since I was supposed to already be there because we got caught in the blizzard. Don't question my dreams) Anyways this whole dream just left me all sorts of sad, unhappy and abandoned. What was the comical part you ask? The besties twin brother was in it too....wearing lederhosen.

 (via)

Well now you know what my dreams are like. Hope you never end up in them.


Have a happy Friday kiddos!


Prost! (German Cheers),

Marisa

Miscellaneous

When you go to the grocery store for just some random odds and ends do you ever wonder what the cashier is thinking? I do. It's one of my favorite past times. Take today for example. Today I needed some cat food, razors (for shaving) and while in line I thought a diet Mountain Dew sounded tasty. Here's what I would think if I were the cashier: She's buying the Mountain Dew to mix with vodka to numb herself before she slits her wrists but not before feeding her cats one last meal. Because really, cat food and razors? How sad is that? Try it next time you're running errands. It's fun!

Also I've had an epiphany. A fourteener is actually a big mountain. Like you're climbing up into clouds. 14,000ft is the altitude people sky dive from. I've been passing it off as nbd, but really I need to take it seriously as it is dangerous and people do die on those mountains. Also the lack of oxygen. Acute altitude sickness is no joke and even at that height HAPE and HACE are a real possibility. As most who know me know that I when plan something I pllaannnn something. So I will be reading and studying until I know every one of the 54 fourteeners inside and out and all there is to know for a successful summit. 

I am currently obsessed (and I mean obsessed) with The Young Victoria and all things Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. I find their love story so endearing and real, it is now my mission to find my very own Prince Albert. :)

Alright that's all the miscellaneous stuff that I have. I shall leave you with this fact: I RAN 8.4 MILES TONIGHT!!!!!!!!! Thats the farthest I've ever run. Ever. Dam to Dam is going down!

Cheers,

Marisa