Wanted:

An attractive guy late twenties/early thirties, bachelors degree required, and steady job. How hard is this to find? Hard as shit if you ask me. If I meet one more guy under the age of 25 who's "thinking about going back to school" I will give up and be the crazy cat lady. Seriously though, when I was in college dating was the easiest thing in the world. There was a plethora of men from basically all over the world there at your fingertips. No need to worry if they were educated or really age either, you were all in it together! Now, being single in your mid twenties post college, thats another story altogether. Where the hot guy at the bar turns out to be 28 unemployed and "going back to school". Or they end up being youngens barely turned 21 out looking to pick up chicks and you end up feeling somewhat like a cougar. Where has my generation gone? Perhaps a change of scenery is needed. Saturday I'm going to hang out with D's sister. Although the last time I was up there I ended up with a married guy.......

While I've very much enjoyed living the single life to it's fullest so far, I think I'm done with the one night stands and drunkenly making out with the hottie at the bar. The kicker though is while I think I'm done with that.....I don't know that I'm ready for a real boyfriend. I don't know that I'm ready to put someone elses needs ahead of my own. As much as I hate to admit it, yes I'm a little guarded after my breakup. How could I not be? But, I refuse to let it bring me down and maybe miss out on someone who could really be the one. So I suppose Step 1 would be to figure out what it is that I really want. Otherwise I'll spend the rest of my life being frustrated, endlessly searching for something that isn't there.

Another Reflective Post....Oh Yeah and My One and Only Is Coming To Town.

Wow it's been a long time since I've been on here. So sorry blogosphere, I've been neglecting you. In all honestly I've been crazy busy with life and traveling quite a bit lately. Anyway, I noticed that in this little blog o' mine I went from Negative Nancy to rainbows and unicorns in the blink of an eye, with basically no explanation. So here I am to reflect on that. D and I broke up in February but it wasn't until the end of June that I reached the point where I couldn't keep it together anymore and be happy and had a drunken public breakdown. Which was bound to happen. Anyways, point being, said breakdown took place about 4.5 months after the breakup, but post breakdown depression only lasted really about a month. This might seem like a short time to some after you know, building a life together and 4.5 years of dating. So how did I do it? What brought me out of my Sally Sadpants (yes I love alliteration if you hadn't noticed) phase? Truth be told....I'm not sure really. Part of it is my somewhat existential philosophy on life. I believe that no one can make you happy until you make yourself happy. Sure I was sad, D was a huge part of my life, the biggest really, but he was not my entire life. I love who I am, what I've accomplished and what I have. And just because he decided that he didn't want to share a life together anymore didn't mean that what I have, and my accomplishments meant any less.

So in the end, I suppose I told myself to man up, remember all the great things I have in my life; job, education, super awesome friends. Remembering that made me realize that I have absolutely no reason to be depressed. My life is still as great as it's always been just a little different. D's not my bf anymore, but still a friend and I know he's still got my back if need be. Which is good cause he's a big dude.

So speaking of super awesome friends, my one and only Will is coming to see me! Will is one of my oldest and bestest friends. This glorious friendship began back in 2001 when we were partnered up in drama class in high school at the young age of 17 for me and 18 for Will. We only had about 8 months of still living in the same vicinity, but somehow we made those 8 months count because while Will was away at Iowa for college and I was still in my senior year we stayed bff's. Then we lived in the same state for 3 years but 2 hours apart. (Him at Iowa and me at ISU) Then he went off to grad school and law school back in Illinois, so now we've been back to being in different states for 4 years and still.....bff's. I am beyond pumped for his visit and the shenannigans I know are ahead. Look out Des Moines!

After a long absence

I'm back! Don't ask me what happened the last week and a half I have no idea. A mega heat wave hit the midwest for a week and I think I was just in survival mode. I've think we've made it through the worst of the summer and hopefully fall is just around the corner. That way you know I can actually spend time in my room, on my computer without sweating to death.

I don't have to much to update really. This last week has been pretty non-descript. My Dad's birthday is Friday so I've been preparing myself for that. Although it couldn't be on a worse week since my hormones are all out of whack and that probably isn't going to help. It's been three years since he's been gone and still, August 20th makes me so sad. Hopefully though I can surround myself with good friends and have a toast to my Dad and remember all the good times.

Oh, my one exciting piece of news....I got a blackberry! I finally decided to join the 21st century.